Marion Daghan Malenky

Daghan-Malenky LLC

Self-respect

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What is a self-respect? Who respect the self? Someone, who simply likes herself/himself. He or she is totally ok with himself or herself, all the time. It sounds logical and easy. But in fact, it is not. To have a self-respect and like oneself is not about being in love with one's appearance in the mirror, special abilities and talents we possess or life success at work as a company director! The self-respect has nothing to do with the degree of a personal success. Neither is build on the comparing ourselves with others (and realising, that I am better and that means I am very important personality). Such comparing can be tricky. It gives you happiness, when you are better than others. But what happens, if someone else is better than you? Success in life and comparing with others are things, which are increasing our self-esteem, which is something different. Self-esteem is based on being in love with what we have achieved or can achieve in future. Self-respect is given. We simply have it or not. With self-respect, we like ourselves just as we are and we don't need to add something more. We are aware of our strengths and weaknesses and they are not making us happy or unhappy. It is an attitude or state of mind.
If you have self-respect, you respect also others. Self-respect gives you freedom. You don’t depend on the opinions and reactions of others. And, additionally, people with self-respect are less prone to blame others, they are not in a state of guilt or regret, they don’t need to lie, to have secrets and their stress levels are also lower.
Respect is a form of love, form of the real love. If you respect somebody, you are able to accept his/her attitude, emotions, and point of view (without any negative reaction or feeling of being hurt). Respect helps you to understand the behaviour of other human being. And you are able to give other people freedom to live their own life. To accept and understand others doesn’t mean, that you have to agree with everything, what others do or think. And it of course it doesn’t mean, that you won’t present your own will and ideas.
Respect means you are able to present your point of view in non-hurting manner, you don’t disvalue or mortify feelings of other people. Where is respect, there is clear, constructive communication without side effects like hurting or blaming others and emotional fighting. Respect brings harmony to our relationships. Being respected by oneself feels powerful and healthy. And with the commitment and focus, we can have it. It is worthy to learn it.

Photo by S. Stresnakova.